Songs From the Crystal Cave

What a letdown, let's be honest. It's bad, but it's not that bad like I expected. When it's him doing standard bluesy soft rock of the 00s variety without him singing much, it sounds passable. Just barely. But that only appears on route 23.

That said, Seagal doesn't have any chops on the vocals. Zero, plain and simple. He sounds like a geriatric grandpa on his hind legs battling the retirement home sound system. And don't get me started on the occasional autotune on some of those high notes, that shit sounds like someone ascending this plane of reality, how out of place and bad it is.

To top it off, any semblance of quality this might've had gets thrown out when Steve tries... reggae and Indian music? He barely scrapes by with blues, but reggae is just some Jamaican man and woman putting energy in it while Steven's dead body attempt to get some words across, and the Indian music is a putrid attempt at atmosphere.

It's a 2/10 album, but I'm bumping it up to a 3/10 because it makes me laugh, and because of... the poonani.