It should be noted that later releases of this record replace the original version of "Getcha Groove On" with the "Dirt Road Mix" version from their New Old Songs remix album, due to sample clearance issues.
I'll be honest, I did not have an "angry white boy" phase growing up, and I attribute that to the generational gap. I was four years old when Limp Bizkit saw their mainstream breakthrough with Significant Other, followed by even more publicity for taking the heat with what happened at Woodstock '99, albeit unfairly. By the time I reached an adolescent age and formally got into rock and metal music, the band went on hiatus as the first wave of nu metal had died off. Then, by the time they came back with Gold Cobra, I was already into nu metal acts that had more longevity than them, some of which were also included in the 1001 Albums books and will be addressed later in my journey. Suffice it to say, I didn't have much in the way of nostalgia or expectations for Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water, an album in which the band sought to capitalize on their then-recent attention. So after giving this album a listen, I can comfortably say that it's not good.
But before I get too deep into why I don't like it, I want to at least mention the elements of this record that keep it from being outright terrible. In particular, the instrumentation on this record was rather decent. There's a solid beat from John Otto on some of these tracks, Wes Borland seems to be an underrated guitarist, and the sampling and record-scratching from DJ Lethal was reasonably good outside of the egregious flip of the Eagles' "Life in the Fast Lane" on "Livin' It Up". Probably the most notable example on here from an instrumental standpoint is "Take a Look Around", which is pretty much a nu-metal rendition of Lalo Schifrin's theme for the Mission: Impossible franchise, but I can also appreciate the few attempts at atmosphere building on "The One" and "Hold On". Couple the instrumentation with solid production from Terry Date, and this makes for a reasonable foundation for a competent rapper or singer to jump on. Of course, if you know this band, you know exactly where I'm going with this...
Let's talk about Fred Durst. Now, it's not new for a decent band to be hampered by their frontman; I've seen it happen multiple times on my album journey thus far. But Fred Durst certainly did his best to make an impression. You know exactly what you're getting into from the get-go with "Hot Dog", where he takes some gleeful pride in dropping an f-bomb or two in every line of his verses while taking the cheapest of pot shots at Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor, though Trent does get the last laugh by getting a sampling credit. At best, Fred's lyrics and performance are meme-able, as is the case with most of the singles. At worst, they're some of the most egregious whinging and lame duck non-rhyming from a man who seems to want to put up a front to hide his insecurities. Even for what should have been a more serious song with "Boiler", he can't help but take me out of it with such mindless nagging and talking about "crawling up your butt". Similar case with "It'll Be OK", where it's admittedly hard to accept him trying to move on from a toxic relationship. The only reprieves I have from Fred Durst's faux-rapping getting in the way are "The One" and "Hold On", where he takes on a more limited singing role, and "Take a Look Around," which, again, is the Mission: Impossible theme. You'd have to try really hard to make me hate that rendition.
Oh, but it doesn't stop here, for Fred Durst also can't help but flaunt the industry connections that he built up. Not only does Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots show up to duet on "Hold On" and prove to be a better singer than Fred, but Xzibit on "Getcha Groove On", and DMX, Redman, and Method Man on "Rollin' (Urban Assault Vehicle)" all proved to be better rappers than Fred, and they weren't even trying that hard. Also, I may have buried the lede here, but there are two versions of "Rollin'" on this album when there didn't need to be. Of course, if you want a more notable example of how needlessly long this album is, check out the nearly ten-minute outro track. It starts with the robot voice from the intro track signing off, followed by comedian/actor Ben Stiller making attempts at humor on Fred Durst in the studio. This is then followed by three goddamn minutes of looping on Ben Stiller laughing, then a phone call between Fred and Third Eye Blind frontman Stephan Jenkins, and we finally wrap it up with two voicemails from skateboarding/TV personality Rob Dyrdek and actor Mark Wahlberg.
I don't think I need to elaborate any more than I need to. I did not enjoy Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water. I may not have that much vitriol for Limp Bizkit these days, as they've largely mellowed out and firmly established themselves as a nostalgia act for the festival circuits. I also know this is not the worst album in their discography, as that would be the next record, Results May Vary, which doesn't have the luxury of Wes Borland on guitar. But I cannot in good conscience say this album has aged well.