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Reviews by ninexnineteen

JustifiedJustin Timberlake

4/10

How the fuck did this album make the list of 1,001 albums you MUST listen to before you die?!? Jesus fucking christ, this was hot garbage.

I'm rating this two stars because it's recognizable as "music;" one star reviews are reserved for Velvet Underground albums

In RainbowsRadiohead

8/10

Some of the crunchy, distorted guitar parts in the opening couple of songs weren't my favorite. Otherwise, great album

Moving PicturesRush

6/10

Tom Sawyer: I think one of the great things about Neil Peart is that he does SO MUCH work, but it never sounds like too much

Red Barchetta: This just sounds like a generic Rush song. Good, but this is not a track I'd specifically seek out to listen to

YYZ: So, this is supposed to be some sort of drum masterpiece, I think. I like this song, but specifically listening to the drum part, this just sounds like everything else Neil does. That's not to say Neil's not special (because I think he really is), but more to say I don't see why this stands out as something different to other people. Maybe id understand if I was a drummer?

Limelight: such a slick opening riff. I have always like the strategic paises in songs, and I think this song is a great example. I appreciate Geddy telling a story about life in the public eye from the perspective of both gratitude and annoyance. Fun imaging on the drums at the end of the track. Kudos to the engineer there

The Camera Eye: pretty meh. Overly long

Witch Hunt: Not bad. Also meh

Vital Signs: really fun opening synth riff. I quite liked this song. Very fun. I had never heard this before. It's one I'd go back and listen to just like Tom Sawyer.

I liked this album.

The Velvet Underground & NicoThe Velvet Underground & Nico

2/10

So incredibly NOT looking forward to listening to this. Lou Reed has all the bad voice characteristics of Bob Dylan, and none of the redeeming qualities.

Sunday Morning: Yep. Suspicion confirmed

I'm Waiting for the Man: this sounds like a third grader wrote it. Why do people think this album is so great?

Femme Fatale: Weird (intentional?) distortion is jarring and unsettling. Zero merit in the background vocals. These are not good singers

Venus in Furs: stylistically, the music reminds me of the The Doors, which is a plus. Absent the atrocious singing, this could be a cool song. The lyrics might even be ok, but how they're vocally presented just takes all merit from them for me

Run Run Run: Sounds like a bad Creedence Clearwater Revival cover band. Horrible guitar screeching. WTF is this garbage?

All Tomorrow's Parties: Starting with a bit of promise. Singing is super flat. If this is such a great album, I could make a "top 1,001 album" with all the ZERO musical talent I possess. In the TV show This Is Us, Mandy Moore's character, who is a MARVELOUS singer gets told she is "Pittsburgh good" at an audition for a record label. If she's only Pittsburgh good, then this band is "elementary school chorus bad" from a vocals perspective.

Heroin: this song has some potential. Sounds cool. Slow pace, light drums, in tune, sort of twangy guitar....and now Lou Reed is ruining it with his Bob Dylan impression. Picking up speed, speeding toward disaster now. And back to the slow pace and Lou's completely unpolished...uh, everything. This fucking sucks, man. I hate Lou Reed. This is torture. How many songs are left? Oh god, four more. And this one isn't even half over... Caterwauling, horrible screeching feedback on the guitar. Terrible. This is THE song a teenager was listening to when their dad burst into the room and said "You call this music? This is just NOISE." Then the dad sits down in the kitchen and says "I just don't know about that kid, Martha" and pours himself a whiskey, wondering where he went wrong

There She Goes Again: Alright, poppy potential...nope, here comes Lou Reed to ruin everything. Ultra simplistic lyrics, lame kindergarten rhyme scheme, and couldn't carry a tune if he had as many arms as on octopus

I'll Be Your Mirror: Cool doo-wop sort of opening riff. Into it. Nico singing here. Eh, not bad. Not good either. Very simple lyrics, but not an entirely unpleasant song, I guess. Kind of off key

The Black Angel's Death Song: frantic, screeching strings. Bad. Unenjoyable. Oh, here's Lou Reed again doing his best to be the worst. Is he... hissing into the microphone??? Or filling up a tire. WTF is this?!? Coming back to edit my notes, and re-reading the song's title, I will give the benefit of the doubt here and say that this is EXACTLY what a "death song" of a black angel would sound like. It does make a person want to die...

European Sun: ooh, kinda Beatlesesque. This is fun. Poppy 60s guitar, nice pacing. Oh, here's Lou! Oh, wtf is that noise? Dragging a metal garbage can on the street? And here we go with out of tune, played too fast guitars, and...this is like when you give a kid an electric guitar for his birthday and he confidently (and wholly incorrectly and without any musical knowledge whatsoever) just starts playing as fast as he can. The pace gives me anxiety. Somehow this has devolved into something even worse.

I'm wondering if this is like avant garde or something? Like such high art that an untrained person like me shouldn't even bother trying to understand. I mean, it does have a Warhol painting on the cover, and like wtf was that guy even doing? That's "art?"

Nah, this band fucking SUCKS.

Album: 0/10 would not recommend. Will continue to shit talk in the future

Later in the day, thinking about the time this was released:

This was not "ahead of its time." There has been no time in the last 50ish years that this would have been musically relevant. There was no boundary pushing here. This is just bad music made by bad musicians. There is no distillation of elements to make the complex art form simple. There is no taking of existing conventions and modifying them to produce something new and different. I would honestly be surprised if any of this album was more than just a loose idea and the old trope of the band leader saying something like "just follow along." Even then, I have heard competent musicians do this, and still sound cohesive and coherent. This is just a fucking mess. I fail to see any artistic merit. Anyone who claims to "get" this album, I would immediately assume was insufferably pretentious.

ViolatorDepeche Mode

8/10

Listening critically:

Samsung Galaxy Earbuds:
Really enjoyed the finesse of the opening drum beat on the first track

Never specifically heard/paid attention to the tuba(?) that adds so much to the drama and "big feeling" in personal jesus.

Listening critically on KEF Q950s while browsing the internet:

I have always liked Enjoy the Silence, but listening to it on the Kef Q950s was a whole new experience. So much detail and new information. I think I have only heard it on shit car speakers.

This is a GREAT recording. (Policy of Truth) So much depth and interesting activity on the synthesizers between channels. Really cool mix and vocal layering I haven't heard until now. This is a whole different song. I'm so glad to be listening to this album. What a great start to this adventure!

Everything sounds so forward and present. I just did not appreciate Depeche Mode in this way before (Blue Dress). I haven't heard this song before. David Gahan (vocals) has a...something special. Such a unique voice, and knows how to use it. I'm really liking the post-song interludes that the radio never played. It's like finding money in the couch cushions. Seamless segue into Clean

Clean: Every instrument is in the exact right place. What is it about this recording? Have my speakers always sounded this good?

Starting the album over on the KEFs. Better than the earbuds, for sure. I wish everything I listened to on these sounded this...crisp (World in My Eyes)

It's Sweetest Perfection that has the slick beat (sounds like brushes). I like the surging/building effect this has. Also...sounds great on the KEFs. Loving the cello break at 2:20.