Reviews by dutch-point-pro

117 minutes of bongo music? Get the fuck outta here.

They say if you have nothing good to say about something … so, the one positive thing I can say about this is that when I hear Time After Time, I remember it playing when Napoleon and Deb were slow dancing in the gym ( “I like your sleeves. They’re real big.”) and then Pedro goes to get a drink, sees the poster and decides to run for class president. So, maybe there is hope for humanity yet … but probably not.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y4aCZcVvLdE

The name says it all.
When it comes to pasta, the elbow is never the shape you are looking for. Elbow is neither your top choice nor a timeless classic. The elbow is something you’ve settled for - you definitely wanted something else but this is what you ended up with.
Human elbows don’t make any sense. They are impractical, hard to navigate, easy to bump, impossible to beautify. Nobody is “into” elbows - they are wrinkled, bony protrudances that are so common, we completely ignore them except when they are broken or used as weapons.
Likewise, this is how we should regard this band. It is undesirable, commonplace and wholly uninspiring. Maybe If you cover it in cheese and bake the hell out of it for an hour, you might forget how mediocre it is - but I doubt it.

What am I supposed to do with this? A foxtrot?

Well, they’ve done it again! Fairport Convention serve up another all skips album! To be fair, this is more listenable and the guitar work is more tuneful and intricate than on Liege & Lief. But it’s still a massive airball that seeks but never finds.

If this is the sort of thing that you like, then I bet you’ll really like this sort of thing.
To me, it sounds like a bunch of long-legged birds being slowly murdered in a swamp.
And I don’t like that sort of thing.

Well, I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think the lead singer might be upset about something.
What do you think Zack de la Rocha does to unwind? Yoga, gardening, sudoku?
May I suggest that Rage Against the Machine and Florence and the Machine switch lead singers for an album - I would certainly buy that shit and I bet you would, too.
This is a pretty f’ing solid debut effort but their downfall is that, by virtue of their incredibly unique sound, they have horribly pigeonholed themselves - you immediately know a Rage song because they are so iconic … and they never shake off that style so it all starts to sound like the same magic trick. It’s a great trick, but you’ve heard it so many times before that it wears thin before too long.

Unique, guitar-driven noise rock with a much more tuneful construction than most other music in this genre. The album jumps from style to style, changing rhythm and tempo but still bringing the same energy and attitude. It’s playful and limber and this makes it stand out. Yes, the vocals grate and it gets repetitive, but there are a lot more positives here to enjoy than most other offerings in this style.

This is the baddest in your neighborhood.
Not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good.
A goddamn classic in every sense of the word.

Is this the moment when music ran out of ideas? This is just a guy whispering indecipherable words over what seems to be the background music from an erectile dysfunction tv commercial. Unfortunately, nothing at all rose from this generic.

I could make a better album with a sample of the demo mode song from the 1980s Casio keyboard using garage band on your iPhone during an airport layover … this is just utter nonsense.
And, I literally have no words for all you asshats that have given this a 4 or a 5. Are you serious? What the fuck are you even doing here? Go back to your room and let the adults do the talking from now on.

Yacht rock without the rock all heard while overdosing on Ambien.

Look, Billy Corgan is a douche, but this is a great album. Killer sounds, great lyrics, awesome hooks, music that makes you want to rock out hard at one minute and then switch easily back to chill out and get introspective the next. Even if it is all sung by a giant douche of a man that sounds as if he hasn’t passed a solid shit in two weeks and all that pushing is starting to take a toll on his voice.
But damn if he can’t write a great song … and then tell all his bandmates how terrible they are as musicians and lock himself in the control room and overdub their parts with his own playing instead during the mix down because he’s a self-important narcissist and a tremendous douche of a person.
Cherub Rock and Mayonnaise are two of my favorite songs from the 90s and I’ve probably listened to them at least a hundred times a piece. They still sound fresh to me. Put those on an album with hits like Today, Disarm, and Luna and I’ll show up for that all day. It forgives the misses like Spaceboy and the almost 9-minute long Silverfuck (err… Silver WTF?).
Honestly this album is so good, I almost forget that it was created by the human douche chill that is Billy Corgan. It’s too bad he and Courtney Love never got back together again - I’m fairly certain their spawn would have been the anti-Christ and we could have watched it set the world to burn while listening to Rocket 🚀 on a loop.

It’s fine, if trying too hard. No need to come back to anything on here, as it all sounds the same - just stripped down hard rock, no harm, no foul … except for that Born to be Wild shitburger… ooof.

This definitely started out as video game music and I was very worried. But it mellowed nicely mid-album and finished with some strong chill-out tracks. The instrumental vibes were a solid foundation with nice grooves and soundscapes but the vocals add nothing but annoyance. A good album for driving long distances or having on in the background while working around the house. If your paying attention to it, it will disappoint, but if you let it wash over you gently, there’s something to be said for it, especially the second half.

The Smiths are one of my favorite bands from the 80s and I’ll gladly tell you this album sucks. It misses wholly on most every level. Marr’s guitar is quite good on most tracks, but that’s the only standout on an album filled with forgettable songs and off key, moaning vocals from the legendary douche that is Morissey. Probably the worst Smiths album by far.

Like a vasectomy through the ears. You can literally feel the testosterone leaving your body song by song.

I’m glad I got past the first few songs, because I think the album improved after a rough start. But maybe I just became desensitized to the vibe. Overall, it had some cool moments, but it was way too long and very unfocused. Sugar Cane and JC created interesting grooves. Everything else just kind of blended together in a kind of sonic stew that resulted in everything tasting and feeling pretty much the same.

And this, kids, is the real reason why you should say no to drugs …. you’ll end up making a fucking terrible album. Unconscionably bad.

The church youth pastor’s favorite rapper.
Never quite got the hype around Common. This is basic, clean unadorned rap. At least the Grammy Awards will always have a mainstream rap act to feature and honor without needing to dig too deeply below the surface.