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Apple Venus, Volume 1XTC

8/10

XTC, we finally meet.
Now, before I get to the album, let's discuss the list of top 3 worst things XTC members did.

Number 3: Andy Partridge bought a rubber shark to fuck it. He fucked a rubber shark. That's it. Here's a quote from an interview:

Andy: "Right, although the nearest I could get was my rubber-shark story. That was my notorious way of not being unfaithful when I was on tour."

The interviewer: "Come again?"

Andy: "It was the best blow job I ever had. I bought it at a Woolworth's in Melbourne, Australia, on tour. I saw this soft, rubber shark about a foot long and thought, "Wow, if I stuck my dick in that, it'd feel really good. I could be faithful and not tempted by all these women now that I'm married." So I thought, "I'm gonna buy this rubber shark and fuck it." I bought the shark, and it felt great. You'd get some suction going, a vacuum effect, just terrific. I used to wedge it under a cushion or a chair and fuck this rubber shark. My suitcase was full at the time, so I had to buy an extra box to take it around. I remember going through New Zealand with it and the customs agent asking me, "What's in the case, mate?" I said, "Well, it's a rubber shark." "Wise guy," then he'd open it up and it'd be a rubber shark. It was great."

The interviewer: "Did it have a name, this shark?"

Andy: "Sharky. [Laughs] Although after a while that stopped, because then I'd think of Feargal Sharkey. The last thing-literally-you want to be thinking of when you're blowing your wad is the lead singer of the Undertones."

Interesting.

Number 2: Some other member cheated on his wife the same tour Andy fucked a rubber shark. I don't have any quotes, a friend told me about it.

Number 1: I will let a quote from Andy speak for itself:
"All right. Um, memorable? This is a terrible confession. When I was a kid of about 11 or 12 years old, I came up with a concept of "something licking your penis". So I came up also with the concept of a dog licking my penis, so to lure the dog, I crushed a biscuit in my hand, rubbed the essence of the biscuit on my penis to attract the dog. When no one was looking, I stuck out my penis with biscuit essence rubbed on, and instead of slavering and licking, the dog started going snap, snap, snap, snap (much laughter here) and I withdrew my penis immediately, never to try anything again of such a nature. So that's possibly my most memorable encounter with an animal."

Alright, thanks for sharing, Andy.

Now, the album!!! Second to last XTC album.

It's a great album. 4/5. Thank you.