Rate Albums

Reviews by thelastbaron

Celebrity SkinHole

4/10

Pretty forgettable run-of-the-mill alternative rock. I kept waiting for something interesting or different to happen, but it was a fruitless fifty minutes of nothingness. Cut-and-paste melodies, totally expected instrumentation, and below average vocals. Difficult to understand why this would be an album anyone must hear, unless it's just to get Courtney Love on the list or perhaps as an example of the yawnsville American alt-rock scene of the late 90s.

2.0/5.0: Disappointing

De‐Loused in the ComatoriumThe Mars Volta

10/10

Weird after 400+ albums to finally to get an album in a genre (prog rock/metal) and era (2000s) that is one of my favorites. Really good musically. The guys are clearly at the top of their game, and the musicality, variety, freneticism, and thematic darkness really hit the spot. Also, hugely influential on modern prog. Easy to see their influence on Haken, Leprous, Soen, Riverside, etc. Yes, the lyrics are bizarre, but so is the music and conceptual storyline, so that's not really an issue.

4.5/5.0: Excellent

DryPJ Harvey

6/10

Love the punky, aggressive bass - it's easily the best/most interesting part of the album. There's also a lot of creativity in the musical ideas here. Unfortunately, each song consists of only one half-formed idea that runs its course after thirty seconds, and PJ's vocals are still incredibly annoying (although lyrically she's very good). Still, the rawness of the whole album is enjoyable.

3.0/5.0: Good

Mellon Collie and the Infinite SadnessThe Smashing Pumpkins

4/10

Unpopular opinion, but the heavier songs are much, much, much better than the mellow songs on this record. They allow the drummer to really display his talent, and the crunchy guitars kind of drown out Billy's whine (most of the time). In contrast, everything (lyrics, music, enjoyment) is drowned out by Billy's whine on the mellow/emotional songs, all of which are supremely skippable. In fact, it seems at this point in the band's career, Billy Corgan has decided that the focal point of every song should be his quite frankly subpar vocals. Overall, while the record is ambitious and has a lot of great moments, the enormous run-time and the vocal slop don't just prevent this record from achieving greatness - they make it a genuine disappointment.

2.0/5.0: Disappointing

Alien LanesGuided by Voices

6/10

This scores points for taking a different creative path - They kind of took the idea of the album and bent it to the band's own vision. Still, the demo-like feel to all the songs really does detract from the album (in my opinion). Also, the music itself isn't all that good, although the constant change in sound due to the many very short tracks makes it enjoyable for the most part. Finally, that album cover is just so so so so bad.

2.5/5.0: Mixed

Born in the U.S.A.Bruce Springsteen

2/10

Just what we needed: Ol' Bruce still sounds like he's singing while taking a dump, but now that dump is drenched in 80's reverb. But wait - there's more: every song consists of the most predictable melody repeated ad nauseam with no development of theme whatsoever and not a single note or rhythm to challenge the ear. Even when Bruce decides to branch out and attempt more challenging genres than regurgitated two chord American folk slop, it ends up being a pale, pathetic, plagiaristic imitation (see the rockabilly of "Working on the Highway"). But generally, this album is about as basic as music can be - essentially what would happen if you wrote music for people who don't like music. Lyrically, this sounds like ChatGPT being asked to write the least self-aware doggerel possible. The first two Springsteen albums on this list got 1 star for being a blackhole of creativity and this makes it a trifecta.

0.5/5.0: Unlistenable

O.G. Original GangsterIce‐T

6/10

24 songs and 72 minutes is just too long to make a good album. Some of the music is great, but there's entirely too much filler, including far too many interludes/skits.

2.5/5.0: Mixed

Yankee Hotel FoxtrotWilco

4/10

The vocalist is wildly out of key at times, and the music is mostly basic and unimpressive, apart from a few transitional synth parts.

The problem with a lot of these indie rock albums is that they always sound like the band phoned them in - partly because the music isn't challenging at all, and partly because the style demands simplicity. Nevertheless, if the album is short enough and takes a few chances, indie rock can indeed be interesting. However, while Wilco does take some chances musically, the album is also almost a full hour in length, and each song is stretched at least 2 minutes past where it should've ended.

1.5/5.0: Bad

…And Justice for AllMetallica

10/10

Yeah, it's long (like a lot of Metallica's albums), and Jason Newstead's bass is inaudible, but this is a masterclass in melodic thrash with a ton of variety and some killer riffs. I am a little confused as to why this made the list and Ride the Lightning didn't, but I'm not going to complain when this list offers up albums more to my taste.

5.0/5.0: Iconic

IdlewildEverything but the Girl

8/10

Tracey Thorn's vocals are fantastic - they fit the music perfectly. Ben Watt's music is mostly cool instrumentation with jazzy vibes, but is often unpredictable, which is nice. Only knock is sometimes the music feels like it isn't going anywhere.

3.5/5.0: Very Good

CaliforniaAmerican Music Club

4/10

Album is not on Spotify, but is available on Bandcamp if you want to listen without being interrupted by YouTube ads.

Review: Not my cup of tea, but I'll try to be objective. The lyrics are actually pretty good - the kind of definitive American folk poetry that would land this album on this list. The music is well done for what it is, but is only interesting in patches, while meandering into poorly done country at times. The vocals range from not memorable to just talking. I want to give this at least a "mixed rating" for being different, but there are literally no moments I truly enjoyed on this.

2.0/5.0: Bad