Back to Mystery City

More like Hanoi Is Okay, amirite? I knew a couple songs going into it that I thought were fine, and that’s how I felt about it overall. It was fine. Every time it threatened to be solid glam rock, it turned a bit too lame. Every time it threatened to be a bit too lame, it turned into solid glam rock.

3/5

I should have discovered this album much earlier! I had heard of Hanoi Rocks and remember seeing the cover a few times (I was even familiar with some of Michael Monroe's solo work), but I never felt the need to listen to the album.
“Malibu Beach Nightmare” and the first few songs sound like a European punk rock band from the early 80s with a touch of new wave (which Hanoi Rocks probably were at the time). But then, starting with “Until I Get You,” the band really finds its own style, and I recognize some ideas that are strongly reminiscent of the early works of Guns n' Roses. This is exactly the missing link between punk rock and glam rock that I've been missing until now—now it all makes sense!
It would have been a shame not to know this album before I die!

On some level, I can understand why someone would want to include Hanoi Rocks as an artist to listen to before you die. The Finnish group is often considered one of the pioneering acts of glam metal. Several bands copied their style and attitude, so it would make sense to take a look at the original article. As for the album of choice, it probably makes sense to have one that charted in the UK and featured drummer Razzle before his untimely death. With all that said, what did we get from Back to Mystery City?

I'll admit, despite my affinity for cheesy glam rock music, even I can recognize that the album's quality is sporadic. Ignoring the intentionally off-putting intro piece "Strange Boys Play Weird Openings", this album is strongly bookended with "Malibu Beach Nightmare" and the title track, with the high-octane guitar riffing, punching percussion, and Michael Monroe's rowdy vocals that one would come to expect from the genre. But the rest of the tracks are stuck in the mid-tempo doldrums, even towards the ballad territory with "Until I Get You", and it becomes hard to ignore how undercooked the songwriting is, instrumentally and lyrically. Andy McCoy may be a decent guitarist, but as a songwriter, I've heard better.

That kind of leads to what I consider to be the ultimate indictment for Hanoi Rocks and why they are at best relegated to having a cult following - the glam metal bands that came out around their time and after boast more significant musicianship and better production in addition to the style and attitude. For as much as I generally had an okay time with this record, I probably would have had an even better time spinning some Guns N' Roses or Skid Row. Even back in 1983, this album came out a couple of months after Def Leppard's Pyromania, which has managed to maintain cultural relevance for much longer. Hell, Finland as a country would produce better music within the next decade with acts like Nightwish and Children of Bodom.

All of this to say that Back to Mystery City is a solid enough record that holds some historical significance in the pantheon of heavy music, and that's about it.

The Good: There’s a mystery!
The Bad: We did not get a map to find said city…
The Ugly: The fucking album cover… sorry…

Finally I get to listen to the album which, at times, is listed as the lowest ranking of all albums on this journey.
I have to say that the first couple of tunes made me wonder why people hate this album so much…
Then, around track #4, you start wondering who ever, in their right mind, decided to sign these boys to a record deal…
The vocals are pretty darn bad to listen to, and the songs start fizzing in the middle.

I guess we all understand that they are included due to the tragic death of the drummer… but then again, Spinal Tap warned any wanna-be-musician that the choice of percussion can be lethal!

Out of respect for the dead I will grant the album 3*, because it’s not total trash, but it’s not great either...

This was my first time listening to Hanoi Rocks.

They've always been one of those bands that a bunch of other bigger-name bands cite as being the originators of glam. Unfortunately, this just doesn't do it for me.

Liked this more than I thought I would. Did not know this was the drummer that Vince Neil killed. He's very good on this record.

80s garage band that never made it?

This is from Finland, so they are represented. Not very well. Towards the end there were a few songs that I would give three stars, but generally they remind me of your average high school garage band.

Ok, this is VERY 1980s. For starters, it's hair metal. It has everything you'd expect from the genre with added saxophone solos on top, which enhance the 80s feel. I don't really get why it's on the list as the band isn't hugely popular in modern times. Unfortunately, they lack the catchy hooks of the genre's greats. 3 stars for the music, loses 1 star for some very gross lyrics (the title track is the worst offender, but no song here is completely innocent).

The hair metal equivalent of Coldplay just really fucking boring

Not totally objectionable, but I really don’t think this needed to be on the list tbh.

I'm so glad I wasn't around in the 80s

It’s a little stupid, but it’s fun. The songs are catchy and the performances are solid. Favorite songs were Malibu Beach Nightmare, Sailing Down The Tears, and Beating Gets Faster.

This feels like a bridge between the glam rock of the 70s and the glam metal that would dominate the 80s. It has more of the artistry and musical inventiveness of the former, with the jocular energy of the latter.

A glam-punk romp with big attitude and even bigger hair. The energy’s undeniable and the sax cameo is a delight, but the songs blur together and it never quite transcends its genre trappings. Fun, not great.

Started off strong, fun, ended with a bit of boredom in it so the rating fell from the bike a lil bit.

Don't mind it. Pretty funny, interesting record. Won't go back to it though.

Surprisingly solid. Had heard a lot about them but never listened. Surprised they weren't bigger back in the day. 3.5/5

suprisingly good hair metal album

“Important” because this was basically proto-hair metal, but lyrically and musically a whole lotta what.ever. Not really worth the time.