Hi everybody! What a wonderful album, oh golly gee whiz! Well now, this is the bee's knees, I gotta tell ya! THE antidote for all the east-coast rap I've been getting. That Frank Sinatra sure is nifty!
{ Okay, I can talk now... some goon who I overheard being called \"Johnnie the Finger Breaker\" just left to use the toilet so I gotta write fast! I'm tied to chair in a warehouse, address unknown, except it smells like fish and sweat so I must be near the docks. Couple hours ago I'm in my usual coffee shop, writing this review of Frank Sinatra's \"songs for swingin' lovers\" (hey! it's not capitalized on the album, why should I have to follow the rules?) about an hour ago when all of a sudden these two huge hairy guys come walking up behind me and ask, in the most sinister way you can imagine, \"Are you writing a review of Frank Sinatra's \"songs for swingin' lovers\" for your 1001 Albums generator site?\" and I said \"No, this is, uh, this is just a quick email to my sister stationed overseas! See, she joined the Army last year and I haven't talked to her in a whille...\"
\"HEY,\" one of the thugs says in a stage whisper (at least they have a modicum of politeness, or maybe they were just trying not to draw attention to themselves), \"I can SEE the album art right there on your laptop and the too-small review box right below it! You think you can pull a fast one on us?! Well guess what Shakespeare,\" (aww! thanks man!) \"you ain't writin' nothin that we don't tell ya to write, capiche?\"
\"Kuh what? I'm sorry, didn't quite catch the last bit there my good man (trying to buy time -- I hit the power button on my phone 5 times in quick succession to alert the authorities -- you know if you do that, you can call 911? Pretty cool feature, on the iPhone anyway) and the other guy says to me \"OH! A WISE GUY! Hey Johnnie, we got us a wise guy!\" Then they both start laughing hysterically.
Well, no sooner do they STOP LAUGHING ABRUPTLY than I find myself tied to this god damn chair, and I'm trying to put together what happened between then and now.
And good lord do I have a headache.
Anyway, I really disliked the Frank Sinatra album, except for "You Make Me Feel So Young," which I only feel OK about because it was in that movie Elf, which is a fun time. As is the song "Pennies From Heaven," but it's the MUCH better version by Louis Prima, of course. Jazz is not something to approach casually. If this is your entry point to Jaz, then by all means, have a good time. The arrangements are perfect, every accent is perfectly timed, perfectly placed. But Jazz, like Rock, has some edge, it has some underground origins. This bears little resemblance to the Jazz of Louis Armstrong, Fats Waller, etc. But, you know, I guess everyone has to hear Frank before they die. (Insert bad Amy Winehouse joke here.)
OH! These dumbasses used blue painter's tape instead of duct tape! HAHAHAHA! My lucky day! Well cats and kittens I AM GONNA skedaddle before Fingers McGoo (or whatever) comes back to slap me again for dissing the once great Sinatra. I guess those Mob connection rumors were true after all!