Reviews by guggmo

I’m at a 3.5 that I’ll bump down to a 3, but I do genuinely think that with another listen or two, I could bump up to a 4 someday.

It’s honestly really not that bad of an album. I’d even go so far as to call it good. There’s proper melodies & riffs & structure here, with a loose prog rock feel that just so happens to be surrounded by a gigantic wall of sound encapsulating most of the soundscape. Obviously, it’s abrasive & it is indeed a challenging listen (as the Wikipedia article says), but I liken the whole experience to a magic eye photo. You know, the ones where you had to cross your eyes to see the picture hidden inside. The structure that emerges out of the noise is that picture in the magic eye static, and if you can train your ears to focus on it, using the wall of sound as less of “pure noise” and more of an actual white noise to supplement it, I think the tracks do come out pretty well. There’s genuinely great tracks, with the highlight probably being “Crown of Storms” as the most traditional prog-style track, but everything from “Dracula Mountain” onward ranges from totally fine to legitimately great, and even then, I’d say there isn’t actually really a bad track here. Again, abrasive, sure, and if you want to dock this album for that, I get it, but I think it’s hard to dismiss this entirely off of its production choices.

So, why would I bump it down to a 3 if I don’t think there’s actually a bad track here? Well, it’s just in the overall pacing & direction of the album, which is to say that the album does stray a little bit directionless at times. Individual tracks can sometimes feel stagnant, repeating a pattern for a minute longer than it needs to & stalling the momentum / progression of each track. It doesn’t happen super often, but it happens often enough that it becomes noticeable, and it does make the album’s 42 minute run time feel a bit weightier. Past that, I do think some tracks don’t pace out the chaos / calm very evenly – for example, the transition from “Wonderful Rainbow” to “30,000 Monkies” is really, really funny at first, because it’s such an abrasive shift that you can’t help but laugh, but then it stays in that chaos for way too long to feel effective, and it just makes the track have a lot less staying power because of it. That lack of staying power kinda lingers at multiple points in the album, and while I do think they’re all good at providing bursts of energy, sustaining that energy for the whole album just doesn’t quite happen. They do a great job of trying though.

Hence, a 3.5 that I’ll bump down to a 3, though I do genuinely think that if that “great job of trying” converts to something a little more fruitful on another listen or 2, with my brain a lot more attuned to what the album is going for, it could get up to a 4. I think it’s not as bad as the 2.29 on the site would suggest, and I do understand some of the more critical acclaim here. That said, I understand a lot of the critique too. I think the whole album is genuinely worth a listen, even if it’s just to see if you can stomach this style at all, and if you can’t, that’s fine. I don’t know that bouncing off of this would fully warrant a 1, but c’est la vie. I certainly was able to stomach it, and I think it’s a really solid album. It’s at least a LOT better to stomach than “Spy vs. Spy” was from a while ago, sheesh.

I’m at a 10. That was delightful.

I mean, look, if you wanna call it elevator music, go ahead; it’s some of the best elevator music I’ve ever heard in my life, if that’s the case. If you can somehow go through this entire album and not move your hands around at least once like you’re following along with a little orchestra, you’ve never had the joy & whimsy it takes to really feel out this album. Either that, or you just didn’t have headphones in to catch all the little intricacies, and that’s your fault. To my ears, I’m predisposed to enjoying a lot of this because it feels like a direct parallel to the Professor Layton games, as other people have noted. The vibraphone, the bandoneon, the violin, the piano – all of it just feels fantastic to my ears, & it swept me away to other worlds in the brain.

The sense of adventure here feels a bit more grand than a Layton game though, with the structure of each track progressing really nicely minute by minute to keep the whole thing moving, almost as if it’s the soundtrack for a little stopmotion movie. There’s points in here where you could sync these songs up with a Pixar-esque flair, and they’d probably fit perfectly. At the same time, there’s moments where it feels like you could be transported to a boulevard in Paris, just watching the people go by from a bench. Those moments blend into each other in such a way that every track feels like a new adventure, sometimes with whimsy & sometimes with panic (“Nuevo Tango” is incredible for this) and if you allow the imagination to take you where these songs want you to go, it’s a deeply fulfilling experience. I’m even more stunned that this is a live album; for 1987, it feels crisp as hell, and the band’s precision & sync feels otherworldly. It’s very easy to forget it’s a live album until the applause of the crowd comes in to pull you back just a bit, and even still, they’re in such a silence that it feels earned every time they come in.

I just can’t fathom why this has a 2.88 on the site; it feels like an unsung masterpiece of whatever genre it’s in, and while I’d make the argument that it’s much more “jazz” than it is “tango”, the blend of both makes this feel like something bigger & beyond itself, yet one deeply familiar to my Layton-loving ears all the same. I’m very, very glad this is on the list, and hopefully, people can scrounge enough info about the creation of this album to get it a damn Wikipedia page in the future. I think it deserves one. To my ears, this is a super easy 10, and just a delight to listen to.

I’m at a 10.

Something about Icelandic production really works, huh? The lyricism here is fantastically vivid when translated, giving each track the framework needed to really understand the emotional pull of each track, but even without them… I mean, it’s just a brilliantly produced album. It’s cinematic in scope, left for the imagination to paint a lot of the picture that the lyrics only loosely carry. They’re like a screenwriter’s notes for the director to try and make sense of, with the soundscape being the scenery in which to film in. It’s very hard to describe this album’s impact, because ultimately, everyone will be painting different scenes out of these lyrics, yet ones that are all vivid in the same way. A few tracks are more direct, namely the title track. It’s a lamentation over the band’s first album being a critical / commercial failure, yet looking at the bright side of life with it. They treated it as a good beginning, and they certainly lived up to their vow to make something better for this, their second album.

I have to give credit where it’s due to the vocals here; Jonsi Birgisson does a remarkable job of letting the vocals guide the direction of each track, & they feel equally as important as all of the orchestration & guitar / synth work that permeates this album. It’s very hard to describe how easily it all comes together, because it’s so flawlessly done that it just passes by without thinking too deeply about it. This whole album is entrancing in that sense; 10 minute pieces can flash by in an instant, yet each individual segment of each track feels like an adventure to explore or a glimmer of a lifetime one won’t experience. It genuinely sounds like how a dream feels, except without the waning memory that so often happens when you wake up.

I think the most fascinating piece here is “Olsen Olsen”, which is a track sung entirely in Fake Icelandic. Bjork used the same “language” on one of her albums, but only sparingly & in transitional phases, like missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Here, since it’s the entire track, it’s fully up to the brain to fill in the gaps, and I think people’s responses to that track in particular will express the full range of the album. At one point, I wrote down that it sounded like the dopamine hit of watching the sunset over a horizon on a summer day, with a wistful energy that tries to capture a magic that one rarely feels as they get older. The crowd bustling around at the end just felt like everyone’s shared experience ending as day turned to night. Of course, that’s just my take on it.

That track encapsulates the whole album, and I think it’s a remarkably rewarding one. It’s certainly one that I’ll come back to if I need a burst of inspiration, or if I just want to hear the fantastic orchestration on “Starálfur” again. You could do studies around the psychological impact of this album, even among the people who find it to be dull & trite, possibly exposing a lack of imagination or a differently wired experience that won’t allow music like this to connect to the brain so fruitfully. I think the entire thing is beyond worth listening to before you die, and I think it’s a 10.

(P.S.: I’m stunned that something like this was able to be produced in 1999. Even now, it feels incredibly fresh. Over in the U.S., we were listening to Smash Mouth, you know what I mean? No disrespect to All Star or anything, but the difference is striking.)

I’m at a 5.

I mean, it’s Steely Dan, what am I supposed to say? If you like “Can’t Buy A Thrill” & “Countdown to Ecstasy” (or if you’ve gotten “Aja” by now, unlike us), you’ll enjoy this. All my same praises apply here, with Donald Fagen’s vocals especially sounding even more refined here, and the band’s technical skill being showcased a bit more. I don’t think it’s got the same consistent stream of hit after hit like “Can’t Buy A Thrill” does, but this is still a super fun album in its own right. As with “Can’t Buy A Thrill”, I really have no complaints, and only nitpicks; I think the lyricism isn’t quite as tight as I remember from the band (though still pretty good), and I think it could’ve had a more definitive closing track than “Monkey in Your Soul”, which doesn’t really feel like it wraps up the album satisfyingly. It’s a good track, but it feels like it’s building to something more.

The length is surprising here; at just 34 minutes, it’s the shortest one on the list, and I do think that makes the quality / pace of the album suffer just a little bit, in a way that’s almost too fast to appreciate the variety the album is going for. I’m not saying they had to pad to make it 40-ish minutes, but I think just a little bit more room to explore some solos & soundscapes further would give each track a little more weight to appreciate them with. All in all though, I’m splitting hairs – this is another great Steely Dan album, and I think it’s about on par with “Countdown to Ecstasy”. I’m glad it’s on the list, and I really, REALLY cannot wait to get Aja at some point over the final 310 albums. Hopefully that comes sooner than later, but as far as this album goes, it’s a very nice 5.

I think I’m higher than a 5. I might be at a 10 on another re-listen or two.

“Vespertine” is about the carnal feelings of love. “The Downward Spiral” is about the carnal feelings of depression. This album is about the carnal feelings of anxiety, panic & paranoia. This album feels like it’s tackling the self-doubt that consumed the band over the course of their 11-year hiatus, and applying it to a more human condition. It feels like every track here is loosely connected; whether it’s in a plot-driven framework or not, I can’t say, but the general thematics of tension, the inability to love one’s self, and yet the desire to persevere despite the anxiety causing deep internal struggles… it’s all very human, in a way that only a few albums so far have captured. You'll need headphones in to capture it, but it's there.

I will say though; it’s not really in the lyricism. It’s definitely there, and it’s very well written, but it’s more so to set up the mood that the instrumentals deliver on, as well as Beth Gibbons’ more Bjork-inspired vocals. The lyricism is sparse, letting the pulse of the synths & percussion & reverb/effect heavy guitar / other instruments sell the anxiety of the album more. I think it fully exposes itself & its intentionality around the 4 minute mark of “We Carry On” – there’s a natural panic that emerges, and while I do think it’s a little hard to focus on her vocals & lyrics because of it, that oddly enhances the song further. Her vocals carry a determination to keep pushing forward, but it’s counteracted by the sort of machine gun percussion & militaristic tone sort of forcing her to push forward, whether she had the determination or not. It makes the struggle of the track feel more real. That balance between emotion & intention, where desire & the circumstances surrounding you might not line up, is something this album captures really nicely, and it’s where all of the anxiety stems from.

Ironically, the top review on this site nails the tone of the album correctly, but they gave the album a 1. I don’t know whether it’s because they didn’t like the music, or if it was too close of a reflection to want to give it a higher number out of… I dunno, some other circumstance. I think this album being the soundtrack to anxiety is its perfect strength, and that’s why I’m currently at something higher than a 5. I love albums that can capture specific moods so well, or capture the human spirit in a way that feels deeper past the music. Obviously, I won’t blame anyone for dismissing this as trite electronica that it thinks it’s bigger than itself in a super artsy sense, but for my tastes, I just happened to really fucking dig it. Between this and “Dummy”, consider me a fan. Really, really good stuff.

I’m at a 4.

Missy Elliott’s debut, and honestly? A pretty damn good debut. Timbaland’s production is really on point here, occasionally jumping ahead about 5 years in ways that feels really ahead of everyone else in 1997, most apparent on “Beep Me 911”, which is probably my favorite track here. Missy’s rap flow is just as good as it was on “Under Construction”, as is her singing voice, and she never puts in a bad performance.

Her lyricism hasn’t quite caught up though, and between that & the album losing a lot of its steam after “Izzy Izzy Ahh”, that’s where I’m stuck at a 4. This album does roll really nicely through its first 12 tracks, but once “Friendly Skies”, “Best Friends” & “Don’t Be Comin’” kinda hit a one-note topic for all of their runtimes, along with “Izzy Izzy Ahh” rehashing some of the “Me & Timbaland are REALLY good together!” topics that were already touched on earlier in the album, the cracks fully start to come in with “Why You Hurt Me”. I do think it’s a good track, but it’s an unbefitting track, and one that feels needlessly mean for an album centered around black female empowerment. I understand warning the ladies not to get too promiscuous to the point where it hurts your image, but affirming it by calling Loosie Booty an “ugly bitch”, along with the ‘chicken’ & ‘cotton-pickin’ lines feels like a direct antithesis to everything Missy has preached about on the album to that point, even if it’s just used as shock value for emphasis. It derails the whole thing to me.

“I’m Talkin’” is… well, it’s just “Izzy Izzy Ahh” again, really, and nowhere near as catchy. It’s the same thing that plagued Queen Latifah’s debut album where the entire track is just about herself, and we’ve kinda done that already. If you have to sing “I’m such a good rapper” in your chorus, it feels a little off, you know? “Gettaway” is fine, but none of the 3 verses really connect at all, making the track feel incomplete. Since it’s the closing track of the album, it’s a really weak way to finish off the whole thing, especially with Busta Rhymes talking about a “whole emotional rollercoaster” right after.

If this album had ended at “Izzy Izzy Ahh”, or even ended on “I’m Talkin’” with all the shoutouts at the end, I might be inclined to look past the slow stumble and bump this up to a 5, but I can’t do it in good faith. I think it’s still worth listening to, don’t get me wrong, but it is frustrating that this got hit with the CD bloat curse. It’s certainly influential, and deserves a lot of the awards it got for its individual tracks, but there’s a reason the album dwindles in plays on Spotify the longer it goes – the later tracks are just that much weaker. It’s still definitely a 4, entirely on the strength of the first 12 tracks, but that’s kinda where the ceiling sits. It just doesn’t finish satisfyingly as a full album, even when it gets 80% of the way there. I did enjoy it though, and I’ll definitely add a lot of these to my big playlist. Really fun stuff, for the most part. Just a 4 though.

Individually, I’d say the sum of these tracks would earn this album a 4. As a complete front to back experience, it is so dreadfully similar throughout I feel inclined to give this a 3.

Eric Clapton is a gigantic asshole. We all know this. As I’ve said though, good music can be made by gigantic assholes, and this is, for the most part, good music. Unlike his efforts with Derek & The Dominoes, John Mayall, or Cream, though, this is… I mean, it’s just lacking in any fucking variety whatsoever, my god. I do like every track here, but we’re rating ALBUMS here, not individual tracks, and whoever on Eric Clapton’s team decided this album should entirely be slow, downtempo blues needs to be shot out of a fucking cannon. There’s no dazzling guitar solos to save his racist skin here, trading them out for lots of slower, stranger covers of little known blues songs (I mean, “Motherless Children” is just such a baffling topic to write a song about, you know?), and a few of his own compositions, some of which do try to boost the energy up a bit, but never really succeeding, except for *maybe* “Let It Grow”.

I mean, I kinda just lost focus of the album after “Let It Grow”, with the final 2 tracks feeling nice, but with no fanfare or actual album structure behind them. “Mainline Florida” feels like it has its ending thrown into the middle of the track and then just sort of fizzles into a fadeout to close the entire album out, and it just feels like a microcosm of the entire album’s entirely too safe approach. In shuffle, all of these tracks would hit nicely, and I do think if you were to sum them up, this album would be at a 4 in isolation. As a total group though, it’s equivalent to having too much candy directly after trick-or-treating; how many times is a fucking KitKat bar going to feel satisfying after you’ve eaten 8 of them in a row? The longer this album goes, and the more tracks there are that follow the same downtempo formula with soft, unremarkable (yet totally fine) vocals from Eric, the less they feel satisfying, until you’re kinda just over it.

Hence, a 3. I guess more of a 3.5 bumped down to a 3, but still. It’s not because Eric Clapton does bad here at all; I really do think all of these tracks are good, even with him naturally butchering part of the political message of “I Shot The Sheriff”. It’s just because the album is the same fucking thing for 39 minutes, even with every attempt to disguise that. I do wish it had some extra variety to maybe justify a super loose bump up to a 4, but it doesn’t earn one at all. It is the weakest thing we’ve gotten with Eric Clapton involved (though still good), and if we’re lucky, it’ll be the last. Maybe he’ll sneak in some guest appearance on another ‘70s album somewhere, but this is the final album we’ll get on the list with Eric Clapton as a member of a band or as the main artist. I do think he’s an asshole, but I do think he makes good music, and his place in that sense of the musical canon is decently established. I wouldn’t have given those other 3 albums a 5 if I didn’t like them. Overall, an 18/20 is pretty strong. Good job, asshole.

I’m at a 5, although I do think this might be the “safest” of the 3 Aerosmith albums on the list.

I dunno, the cheesy ‘80s vibes of “Pump” & the bigger energy on “Toys in the Attic” just clicked with my sensibilities more. That’s not to say this is bad at all – it’s still really, really good, but it does feel like the drug use present while making this album somehow left it a little bit sterile. I think the lyrical quality is kinda close to “Toys in the Attic” (though not as strong), but Steven Tyler’s vocals don’t come in with the same battering ram energy, feeling more focused, but less excitably stunning. Instrumentally, I think the same applies; a lot of the bombast of “Toys in the Attic” isn’t quite here (or at least, not as constantly present in a ‘holy shit’ way), but they’re still as technically sound as they could be. This album feels like it relies a little more on the vibes as opposed to everything else, and I never got quite as into the vibes as I think they wanted me to get.

That’s not to say there aren’t standout tracks: “Back in the Saddle” is an awesome opener, “Rats in the Cellar” has all of the bombast I was looking for, & “Nobody’s Fault” feels like a deeply underrated track. Besides those 3, I think the rest all range from good to great, though never elevating to something higher. “Home Tonight” in particular feels a little too on-the-nose as an album closer, almost as if it’s slightly phoned in. I do like the entire album, but I just never got THAT much higher, the same way I did with “Pump” & “Toys in the Attic”.

It’s still a 5, but it’s the “safest” 5 of the 3 Aerosmith albums on the list. I don’t personally hear any kind of comparison to “Toys in the Attic” in terms of a top to bottom project, and I’ll be super frank in saying that if we had gotten this first, I would’ve given “Toys in the Attic” a straight 10. It probably still deserves it, honestly. Regardless of that, this is still Aerosmith near their peak, and this is still a great 34 minutes that deserves some high praise. I think the floor here is a 4, but my ceiling is right at a 5, and not anything higher. It’s enjoyable as hell, I’m glad it’s on the list, it does deserve to be heard before you die, and I’m gonna throw every track here into my big playlist. Pretty good stuff, even if it didn’t personally click quite as much.

It’s a 10.

I mean, they just fucking killed it, what more do you want me to say? I thought glam rock like this passed away in the ‘90s, and was long dead by 2003 with the garage rock revival, but this is PURE glam rock, done as close to perfectly as you can do it, updating the ‘80s sound with a little bit less drum machine & a lot more fucking punch behind it. Their guitar solos sound like the synth solo on “Jump” half the time, they’re as juvenile as Aerosmith or Bon Jovi, they’ve got the energy of AC/DC or Motorhead, & they’ve got the falsetto of a Freddie Mercury undergoing puberty. Combine all of that with a technical proficiency reminiscent of Van Halen or even some prog rock bands like Genesis, Yes, or Rush, & somehow, someway, the cavalcade of influences & styles that are cherrypicked from history to create this album paint one of the most cohesively entertaining debut albums in the genre I’ve ever heard.

That’s about it, really – I can’t write paragraphs about this because it’s an album where you just have to fucking feel it, and when you feel it, you’ll know exactly how goddamn good it is. I got as in sync with these guys as I’ve gotten with any of the other high-intensity glam rock/grunge/metal bands we’ve gotten, so I loved everything about it, including a very welcome rediscovery of “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” for myself. I’ve been looking for THAT track for years & years, and I could never find it because I always thought it was an ‘80s song. It’s gonna feel great to finally throw that into my playlists, goodness. It’s a super, super easy 10, and I’m very glad it’s on the list.

I’m at a 4.

It did take me a little bit to really get into the album; I thought “Broken English” was sort of a catchy, if one-note ‘first minute is the whole song’ type of opener, even despite the pretty killer bassline. “Witches Song” felt a little better, but the lyrics felt strange & the instrumental progression didn’t really hit like that. With an unremarkably fine start through the first two tracks, I had a real fear it would stay at that pace for the rest of the album.

Thankfully, I think this album finds a bit more focus by “Brain Drain”, just because it’s such a straightforward track about what drugs can do to a person, & with the worn tone in her vocals reflecting that exact struggle she went through, it just clicked really nicely. I’m surprised it has the second least plays of any track on the album on Spotify. “Guilt” got really funky by the end of it, and while it does feel like a track centered more around greed & desire than guilt, I think the track just really clicked for me, with Steve Winwood’s keyboard work giving the track some bite that Marianne’s vocals matched. “The Ballad of Lucy Jordan” is a pretty damn good cover, and one that probably relates to her struggles well, though I can’t help but think it needed a solo or something to shake the instrumental up just a little bit.

There’s a small misstep to my ears with “What’s the Hurry”, though it’s not because it’s a bad track; it just doesn’t really do enough to stick out more memorably. The instrumental has a good tempo, the lyrics are fine, but there’s just something missing. I dunno what though. The final two tracks recover quickly: “Working Class Hero” is a fantastic cover, and the slow anger that builds up in Marianne’s voice over the course of the track really sells the lyrics. I’ve never heard John Lennon’s original version, but we’ll get to it whenever we get “John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band” down the line.

I’m going to make the bold claim that “Why D’Ya Do It” is a great closing track – not because it’s the most fitting track to end on, but because it’s so funny in its subject matter (a valid crashout over a cheating husband, yet done in such a Karen-y obnoxious way you can’t really blame the guy for cheating to begin with) & so fucking funny in the lyricism ("Every time I see your dick, I see her cunt in my bed" feels Shakespearean), that I just think any track that could’ve followed it would’ve been overshadowed. You just kinda have to end on that, really.

With just 5 of the 8 tracks really clicking at a deeper level for me, yet with no bad tracks overall, I’m pretty safe with a 4 here. I think the floor is a competent 3, so I sort of understand the 2.89 on the site, but at the same time, when you have the second highest review here saying that it “sucks on a visceral level” & calling it an “awful, godforsaken wreck”, I just can’t help but see the average score as a result of hyperbolic underrating. It’s not THAT fucking bad, people. While I can’t say with my whole chest that it NEEDS to be on the list, I’m not gonna call for its removal anytime soon. I enjoyed it, and I think it’s a pretty solid 4.

It’s something higher than a 5. I’m not quite at a 10 with it, but… hell, maybe someday.

I mean, look, everyone knows “Walk This Way” & “Sweet Emotion”. I can barely tell you what the latter is even about (it sure seems like a groupie issue though), and I can unfortunately tell you exactly what the former is about, but those tracks exist in perpetuity on the strength of either their choruses or their intros, feeling far ahead of 1975, unique for their era, & enduring all the same because of it. Yes, “Walk This Way” is juvenile as hell & it’s certainly a little awkward for a 26-year-old Steven Tyler to sing about high schoolers getting pussy but… that’s rock & roll for the era. Besides, let’s not act like there aren’t certain 26-year-old superstar singers right now asking about “house tours” & “getting wet at the thought of you” & all that. The purity test is dead, long live the purity test.

So, with those two tracks casting a monstrous shadow over the whole album, the rest of the tracks have to keep up, and thankfully, they all do. There’s not a misstep here to my mind, & they all hold up well. “Toys in the Attic” is about… something, but it just sounds like it kicks ass. “Uncle Salty” could play the child neglect topic with a bit more tact & emotion other than an ‘aww, that sucks’ kinda vibe, but I think the blues-y instrumental sells the sad tones well. “Adam’s Apple” is a fellatio-driven retelling of Genesis, & the instrumental energy drives the track really, really well. Probably the big standout of the first half that isn’t “Walk This Way”. “Big Ten Inch Record” might be some people’s breaking point, but for 2026, completely goofy double entendres are all the rage, so it’s somehow aged pretty well, especially since it’s a cover from *1952*. Besides, we already ripped away all pretense when Da Vinci’s Notebook dropped “Enormous Penis” in 2002. The purity test is dead, long live the purity test.

“No More No More” has a really fun structure – the lyrics do feel like they’re not super cohesive, implying cheating on the road at the same time as having a loving wife & home life, but apparently, it’s just a smorgasbord of road stories Steven Tyler threw together and called a track. The guitar is the star of the show here anyway, with Joe Perry absolutely fucking ripping at the end. The whole thing feels loosely like a Boston track, and that’s a big compliment. “Round and Round” is Aerosmith doing a metal track about a struggling relationship & the inability to cope with all the changes going on, and while it spams the chorus & goes a touch too long, I just fucking love the vibe of it all. “You See Me Crying” is one hell of a closer, feeling like a progenitor of all the ‘80s hard rock ballads to come (looking at Bon Jovi in particular) whilst foreshadowing Aerosmith’s own biggest hit roughly 20 years down the line. The scale & scope of it all is just really impressive, especially for a band that roughly 20 minutes beforehand were singing about “kitties in the middle” & doing a ragtime track about a 10-inch… record. The purity test is dead, long live the purity test.

Ultimately, the whole thing just kicks ass, and if you can’t really feel that after listening to it, I don’t know what to tell you. Go have some fun out there, maybe. I do think the vast majority of my compliments being about the instrumentals & less about the actual substance of each track is what’s holding me back from being like “wow, holy shit, what a 10”, but it’s certainly higher than a 5. Between this album & “Pump”, I think I really, really like Aerosmith. We have one more album of theirs after this, “Rocks”, which I’ve genuinely never heard of, but it also has a spot in the Rolling Stone 500. I can only hope that one kicks as much ass as this does, and as far as this goes, this is a super, super easy 5, and certainly higher.

I’m at a 4.5 that, surprisingly, I’ll bump up to a 5.

I mean, there’s definitely flaws. I think “The Next Big Thing” feels a little bit vapid as an opener, since the album hasn’t really established its overall tone yet, so it feels like it’s trying to use a voice that doesn’t really work out of context. After that though, the weirdly intense shift on the cover of “I Got You Babe” that adds an awkwardly funny tone to the whole thing reveals this album’s modus operandi: it’s an album full of mockery. Granted, some of that mockery in & of itself has some tracks that aren’t as tactful as it could be; “Back to Africa” is a mockery of the “white savior” concept, but the lyrics read as almost fetish-y at times. I think the track works, but it’s not one you can really throw into a playlist nowadays. “Master Race Rock” has the baffling opening line about “picking a slave”, but it’s also a complete mockery of white supremacy & overt toxic masculinity, and that makes itself very clear by its final verses, so it doesn’t feel as painful.

After that though, the album glides a lot more, both instrumentally & without some of the earlier lyrical missteps. “Teengenerate” feels like a loose mockery of fake tough guy teenage angst, underlined by the usage of “heck” – some of the backing vocals give a Beach Boys vibe that helps the track. “California Sun” feels pretty earnest, honestly. Certainly a little goofy in the lyrics, and that Beach Boys comparison feels warranted again for the subject matter / verse repetition, but the guitar solos make it work. “Two Tub Man” is just weirdly chaotic yapping that reminds me of some old batshit insane ‘80s wrestling promos (certainly helped by the Verne Gagne mention), and I just admire the absurdity of it.

“Weekend” is genuinely just a good track with some loose Alice Cooper vibes to it; maybe one misstep with the “Beatin’ up the kids from Spain” line, but the whole track is full of drug-induced absurdities that I can look past it as a goofy overexaggeration. “(I Live For) Cars and Girls” is the biggest pisstake on the Beach Boys that the whole album has. The other tracks at least do them some justice by talking about something of substance, but it really is just a full blown lyrical mockery of their “Surfin’ USA” era of music. There’s a Zappa-esque quality to it, helped by the fact that they play the track itself totally straight, even pulling together some nice vocal harmonies to make it work.

All in all, I genuinely did enjoy it. It’s just a good bit of ‘dumb’ punk rock, & one that’s keenly self aware of that fact. Even with the early missteps, I can chalk it up to not really getting the vibe of the album in full & a different era of humor in 1975. It is punk rock, yes, but I don’t think it’s “punk rock” as the Sex Pistols & Ramones would later run with. This doesn’t have the same bite to it, yet somehow, I think it works all the same. The vocals aren’t super melodic, but they don’t have to be when the instrumentation genuinely holds up really well for the time. It’s a lot catchier than I expected, and that clear DNA of the Beach Boys & the Beatles is still influencing these tracks in a way that makes them feel appealing. Yeah, it’s dumb, but it’s the fun kind of dumb that I just fuck with. I think the floor is a 3 (or a 2 if those early lyrical missteps feel THAT bad), but for my tastes, but solely on its ‘dumb fun’ vibes, I’m feeling generous enough to bump this up to a 5. I’m glad it’s on the list.

It’s a 5. Hell, it might be higher.

Putting aside the 12 minutes of practically bonus track filler that is “Outro”, that is a tight, TIGHT 60 minutes that never once misses a beat. Fantastic production across the board from everyone involved; a cavalcade of producers, really. Out of all the beats here, “Kick, Push” is probably the most ‘classic’, just by virtue of the song’s popularity, but I think the best beat is on “I Gotcha”. Something about the Neptunes’ production just clicked for me there. It’s a little overproduced, maybe, but something about the bombast of each track feels like a hallmark of this era of conscious rap, trying to blend the sophistication of the lyrics with appropriately ‘sophisticated’ production. It’s something that a lot of artists have maintained into the modern day, though with more electronica thrown into the mix. It’s a shame some of the lyricists haven’t quite kept up, but some of them are trying out here.

Obviously, beats are only half the album, and the other half belongs to Lupe’s lyrics & flow. I’ve only known Lupe Fiasco from his biggest hits, and those big hits undermine just how fucking good he is as a writer, my goodness. These are all cleverly written with some wordplay in spades, but they never stray too far into the realm of complexity to not get the core of the track & what he’s trying to say. The only time he gets a little too cute with it is on “Pressure”, but when you’re on a track with JAY-Z, you kinda have to match the energy. When he’s absolutely flowing, and the lyrics can match just how catchy that flow feels to listen to, it’s easy to enter a zen state where following along feels extremely simple. I think “Hurt Me Soul” might be my favorite one in terms of the lyrics, but every track here has at least one killer line that sums up the whole track nicely. I do think “The Instrumental” might be a little repetitive, but that’s part of the Linkin Park-esque charm of it all, somehow.

Ultimately, it’s such a densely composed album that I think it’d be tough to go through track by track & really dig into why this is as good as it is. It’s literally just an album you need to listen to understand, and even on a first pass, it feels like a hip-hop classic that my brain missed for whatever reason, even with “Kick, Push” being in my orbit for at least a decade. I’m kicking myself for not having listened to it (or any full Lupe album) until now, & I certainly need to go listen to “The Cool” at the very, very least. I think it’s an easy 5, if not a bit higher; honestly, if “Outro” wasn’t here, it could legitimately be a 10. It is THAT good. A dazzling debut record, a modern classic, and something you definitely should listen to before you die. I really, REALLY liked it.

I’m at a 10.

I mean, it’s just because “Crime of the Century” feels like a perfect closing track for the whole thing. The entire album’s crusade against authority with Rudy leading the way, only to realize that he was alone in that crusade the whole time, with everyone else upholding the status quo in their own ways… it’s really well done, and “Crime of the Century” as a sort of dour closing instrumental with a lot of weight behind it, built up brilliantly over the course of the album, makes its somber little sax solos & percussive drops feel like punches to the gut, in a good way.

I’ve only ever really known Supertramp as the “Goodbye Stranger” band, and I was fully expecting to see “Breakfast in America” on the list, given the acclaim it has. I’m very glad the book’s editors picked this one (although “Breakfast in America” could’ve probably still been in, I dunno), as it’s a really strong showcase of some Pink Floyd-esque prog rock. It’s not as conceptually tight as “Dark Side of the Moon” is, given the loose tissue connecting these tracks & a minimal amount of transitions, but it more than makes up for it with some clever writing & allegories. “Bloody Well Right” feels prescient as hell in a world of incompetent nepo babies & evil billionaires, and the monologue that starts “Crime of the Century” feels especially apt given some recent revelations about online astroturfing in a certain set of files. The strength of the writing just really makes each track that much better to me.

It also helps that these are fantastic instrumentals. Sure, there’s not a crazy sick / iconic guitar solo I can point to here (though there are some really good piano / sax solos), but this album knows when to lift up instrumentals & drop them perfectly, in a way where the pacing of each track feels more thought out & intentional at points. Getting that push/pull right in a way that gives the listener some heavy dopamine is something a lot of ‘70s albums have struggled with, and thankfully, it’s something that most prog bands seem to get right. In this case, with Supertramp, it’s honestly comparable to Yes’s “Close to the Edge”, though on a smaller & less bombastically technical scale. Ironically, this album is longer than “Close to the Edge”, but that’s just a testament to how good Yes is.

Of course, I’ve probably overanalyzed this album in my own way, as it never takes itself THAT seriously while listening, which is honestly another point toward the album. “Dark Side” isn’t pretentious or anything, not by a long shot, but that feeling of “art rock” never fully shakes itself, especially with the reputation it has. This is just really fun prog rock with loosely serious theming behind it, but relatively lighthearted tones throughout. When it wants to feel deeper, it knows how to reach that point musically; it never stays in it for too long to feel obnoxious, and it always lifts back up to touch the soul in just the right way.

Ultimately, I think it’s an album that knows what it wants to say & says it very well. I’m more inclined to enjoy things that feel definitive & answered, and perhaps that’s part of the reason while I feel more inclined to give this a 10 as opposed to Dark Side getting a “something above a 5”. Dark Side has a million different interpretations within its framework of a life well lived, but this album seems to have a pretty clear one: overreaching authority sucks, try to fight it the best you can, and even if you feel like you can’t truly win against it, someday, if everyone is listening & trying to fight it, maybe there’s hope to get it done in the future. Past that, it’s just a really fun 44 minutes, and I can’t say there’s a bad track here. The floor is a 3 if you just don’t like prog to begin with, but for me, it feels like a deserved 10. It just clicked with me really, really well. Thank goodness it’s on the list.

It’s a 3.

I mean, I did genuinely like it. The issue with this album is that whenever it hits the peak of “vibes”, it just keeps going for twice as long as it needs to. Electronica is paced at its best when you can put the listener in a really nice spot, and then go to the finish, leaving them simultaneously satisfied & yet wanting more. The issue with actually giving them more is that, unless you’re a master of knowing how to really keep progression from feeling stale (like say, a Fatboy Slim, an 808 State, a DJ Shadow, etc), then it’s very easy to come down from that “really nice spot” and just feel sort of bored by the time any given track ends. That’s this album’s fatal flaw; it flows really nicely between tracks, with good starts & good finishes, but for the vast majority of the album, the actual middle/core of each track just goes on for far, far too long. This is an issue Orbital would largely avoid on “Snivilisation”, save for the last track there, so I guess they learned from this album’s faults.

Past that, I think it’s just a little too obviously dated to 1993; with a lot of these tracks lacking vocal samples & some of the same vibes as their UK house contemporaries, the MIDI synths here are left to carry the load, and they just don’t carry them that well. There’s some good melodies & moments here, occasionally feeling like a really good base for a Fatboy Slim instrumental, but without the extra heft & energy (see: rock elements) involved, they just never reach that higher point that electronica requires to put the listener into more of a fever pitch. As I said though, I liked it, and I do think a much more trimmed version of this album that cuts the fat would flow really nicely; if they could get this down to 40-45 minutes (probably possible), I really think it would be more warmly received. As it stands, it’s just at a 3 for me, and that’s probably its ceiling.

At least Worf was here. That was kinda neat.

I’m at a 4.5 that I’ll bump up to a 5.

This is the most ‘80s-sounding ‘80s album there could possibly be. That is a dealbreaker for some people & a selling point for others; thankfully, I’m “others”. Yes, it’s absolutely over the top at points, overblown on occasion, deeply overdramatic at times, and constantly feels like it’s an instrumental break away from being in a Rocky training montage, but part of that weird adrenaline is what sells ‘80s production like this for me. Somehow, this feels like a blend of Prince’s pop sensibilities for the time with a touch of Depeche Mode involved, and with Tina Turner’s 45-year-old vocals belting out with a sort of feminine anger that can only be wrought upon from her history with Ike, the entire album’s bombast works hand in hand, where you can tell it’s really cheesy at points, yet done so earnestly you can’t help but play along with it.

Of course, “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” plays itself more subtly (& with the least subtle fake harmonica put to tape in the decade), and perhaps that’s why it was the biggest hit on the album. Either that, or it’s just legitimately that catchy with the slight reggae groove & it endured for that very reason. (It is that catchy, by the way.) Every other track hits that slight bombast, and while a lot of them do crash into a “really stale outro” wall because of it, the variety of the album saves it from ever feeling like a big issue, at least for me.

Ultimately, I do think the enjoyment here boils down to “how much do you like ‘80s production?”, and if you like it a lot, you’ll like this album a lot, even if it’s reliant on covers for the entire back half, due to the refreshed ‘80s bombast on them. “Let’s Stay Together” might be a little egregious, & “Help!” might be a bit overdramatic, but the rest work well. If you don’t like ‘80s production, you will probably not like this, since Tina Turner’s vocals will feel “wasted” on crummy drum machines that remind you too much of Sussudio & have you yearning for real pop/soul music like Aretha Franklin. (This is where I would recommend looking up Aretha Franklin’s 1980 cover of “What A Fool Believes”, which is incredible.) I think it’s a good album, and while it certainly has flaws, something about the weird adrenaline rush of ‘80s production just appeals to me in an infectious way. It’s a 4.5 that I’ll bump to a 5.

It’s a 3.

I mean, if you’re looking for a decent Latin electronica album with some light jazz elements, this’ll fit some kind of bill. It’s not very compelling as a full 61 minutes though, mainly due to a complete stagnancy that emerges in the percussion, making the tracks kinda go on endlessly without a real sense of progression. It drags down the entire album, relegates it to unfocused background noise, and ultimately, it just kinda overstays its welcome, even on just a casual listen. I like a lot of the atmospheric vibes of these tracks, and I’m willing to put a lot of these into a shuffle on a playlist, but as an entire front to back album, it just grows really tiring. With a lot of lyrics unavailable online, it’s hard to catch any emotional vibes, so the soundscape has to speak for itself, and it just kinda stalls like a speech without a teleprompter.

Suba is the producer for Bebel Gilberto’s “Tanto Tempo”, which I really liked. He died due to smoke complications after successfully recovering that album from a fire. Tragic, really. I really liked his production work there, but I was concerned this album would feel more stale over the course of the whole thing, and sadly, I was proven right. This doesn’t have the same tightness & audience focus as “Tanto Tempo” does, nor did it have a familial expectation from its last name to put the very best possible foot forward. You could convince me it’s on the list as a matter of filling it out with some connections between albums, as opposed to an album that really gets here on its own merits, and that’s disappointing. I do think it’s not bad, and on a good day, as looser background noise, maybe it could go up to a 4, but it’d have to be an Ice Cube-esque good day, and I don’t see this album having one anytime soon. It’s just a 3.

I’m stuck on a 3, though I really do think it's worth listening to.

I appreciate the attempts at satire on this album; loosely, Randy Newman’s messaging & political stances come through well, even if the actual messaging used can range from batshit methodology (never let the Toy Story guy drop the N word with a hard R ever again, please) to decently earnest pleading. I think Randy Newman tackles the subject matter on these tracks with a decent amount of tact for the time, when white southern audiences were still legitimately speaking like this, for better or for worse.

However, satire is only effective to a certain point when you’re speaking to a primarily white audience – I think this album disregards the black perspective just a bit too much, with Randy ironically falling into the trap he satirized really well in the 3rd & 4th verse of “Rednecks”. I have to imagine some of that disregard is intentional to sell the southern ignorance that’s meant to be portrayed on these tracks. I just think there’s too much of it; take a track like “Louisiana 1927”, where the disregard & the ignorance is a driving factor. There’s no pushback on the character’s isolated perspective at all, leading to a disjointed focus that hides the messaging of the track a bit too deeply, especially since a lot of it earnestly focuses on the suffering of that flood. Randy Newman’s writing is sharp, yes, but it lacks the same direct wit as someone like John Prine, who often made himself unmistakably clear.

Past that, I just don’t think a lot of the tracks here are super musically compelling. “Sail Away” was able to get away with some softer, out of the way instrumentals, but this album’s orchestration lends itself to a sort of homogeneity, where every track ends up feeling the same despite a decently robust attempt to add some variety in styles. Since the lyricism doesn’t have the full bite to make up for it, and since Randy’s dryer vocals don’t feel as potent because of it, then the entire album suffers & feels longer as a result. This is only 33 minutes, but it doesn’t really fly by like that.

Hence, a 3. Not a bad one, and one I could fully understand going as high as a 5 for if the lyricism has that bite for someone else that it didn’t quite have for me, or if the instrumentals just click more nicely. However, it's also one where I fully understand why it has the rating it does. Randy Newman doesn’t get a pass for using the N-word like that, even with some decently guided intentions, but even if he had censored himself, I just think the rest of the politically-driven tracks on this album are comprised of observations that other people would satirize better & make much more potent & lasting tracks out of in the future. Sorry, Randy. It’s just a 3 for me. I do recommend it though.

It’s something higher than a 5, though I’m personally not quite at a 10.

I’ve never heard this album in full. I’ve never even gone out of my way to look up a track from the album. It just seemed like a monolith that I was always too scared to tackle, on account of the near-universal acclaim. Of course, it’s inescapable. Every track here had something I had heard before, whether it be from SiIvaGunner rips, online edits, or just catching them occasionally over the years on the radio. As a full project though, I’m stunned at just how coherently it all flows together, with lots of audio callbacks throughout. This feels more akin to an audio drama as opposed to an album, but the sound design is the glue that keeps it all together. The instrumentals feel as potent (if not moreso) than the vocals & lyrics, which are already really well-written & performed. “Time”, “Money” & “Us and Them” in particular are the obvious lyrical standouts, but they also contain fantastic instrumental sections that overshadow those lyrics. I don’t even have to say anything else about “The Great Gig in the Sky” as a track – it’s just that good on its own.

Ironically enough, since it’s such a strongly flowing 43 minutes, I find it hard to really focus on this as a track-by-track album and just more of a 43 minute experience. In a weird way, that might be why I’m not at a 10 with it? Part of that is because I just don’t think it’s as good as “Wish You Were Here” & arguably not as good as “The Wall”, which both feel like equal or better Pink Floyd albums to me. Of course, comparing any of these 3 albums to each other is like picking between 3 different gold watches – there’s literally not a wrong answer. However, as a fully connected album experience, I found myself… not “unable” to catch the vibes, but I think on a first pass, I was too intent on trying to “get” the album as opposed to naturally letting them come to me. That might just be the overwhelming expectations I set for myself going in, and I’ll probably be a lot looser on future listens (because it’s certainly good enough to warrant many more).

Of course, there’s not a “correct” answer for how to interpret Dark Side of the Moon. It just comes to you, and while the intent of a life from start to finish is there, everyone has their own way they digest this album. That’s part of the prism of the album cover. For me, I think I was expecting some grand magnum opus far ahead of its time that influenced everything for years to come (and it honestly probably is), but ultimately, what I think I’ve ended up listening to is just a fantastically flowing set of tracks (“just” doing some heavy lifting here). For better or worse, I’m just not as totally blown away as I thought I would be, like I have been at the end of some other albums on the list, and I think that’s where I’m holding myself back from a 10. As it stands though, it is easily deserving of its acclaim, and it’s probably a top 15 album of the 1970s, bare minimum. It never once falters, it never finds a bad track, it never hits a lull point – maybe a bit self-indulgent at points with some solos or whatever, but the entire experience flies by brilliantly. I think anything lower than a 4 is criminal, and I’m certainly still higher than a 5 on a first pass. I’m glad to finally have listened to it, and I really want to listen to it more.

It’s a 5. Probably a bit higher.

It’s just a very humanizing album, that’s all. We’re all trying out here, but we all fuck up, we all feel lonely, we all need some friends, and we all just need to acknowledge that those feelings are normal. Those things DO happen, and you’re not wrong or different for having experienced them. You are human for having gone through it. Music is often a fun escapism, but music that reflects such an earnest shadow back at its listener can be really effective when done right, and this album does it VERY well. The lyricism here is just really strong; I can’t really go track-by-track with it on account of a lot of it hitting closer to home than I’d care to admit, but there’s a LOT of really good, biting & brutally honest lines here that clicked with me well.

It also helps that this album’s recording / production feels so homely. There’s nothing overproduced here, nor is there any kind of CD-era fluff or flair. It’s mostly his guitar, his voice & some percussion, and whatever extras arrive with them, they never really overshadow that simple base. Even in his vocals, they don’t feel like they were recorded in a studio, creating a vibe around the whole album that adds to how relatable it all feels. I think it’s an album where the music mostly speaks for itself. It’s certainly one where I can’t type anything more about it, because it did just hit that close to my own thoughts at times. I’m very glad it’s on the list, I think it’s beyond deserving of the acclaim it gets, and I think it’s a very easy 5, if not higher. Just a great album.

P.S.: I didn’t realize Elliott Smith died via a presumed suicide in 2003 until I finished the album, which I suppose is a testament to his songwriting abilities. Sure, a lot of the demons he sang about here may have piled up & contributed to his death in some way, but this isn’t an album defined or enhanced by it. It’s an album to take from, to try and feel the struggles he so vividly goes through on each track, digest those feelings, and then do your best to just… lift yourself up & live on afterward. That’s all you can try to do. It’s a tragedy that Chris couldn’t.