Reviews by ron_penis

there's that thing people say about film scores, that you hardly even take notice of the greatest ones when actually watching a film. in that sense, this certainly achieves its stated goal

put me to sleep (figuratively) but in a bad way

my least favorite fiona apple album and still absolutely fantastic

the platonic ideal of Average Metal

put me to sleep (literally) but not in a bad way

short and sweet 🌺

i have a nostalgic soft spot for nu metal but this is just kind of vaguely annoying to me

of course it's 5 stars, please, it's funkadelic, i would allow George clinton to cut my head off, you are silly if you expected a different rating

somebody please kill me before the next Tom waits album comes up

(this is definitely better than the other two I've had to listen to so far but i still hate it)

i just don't like bjork! you can't make me!

is it good? not really. will i be listening to it front to back all the time? definitely not. is it more interesting and engaging than 60% of the stuff on this list? absolutely. is Hamburger Lady cool as fuck and AB/7A a banger? you know it

perfect album, but only if you want to show someone why this era of music was so fucking lame

barf

uncle music (derogatory)

I don't think this is really horrible or anything, and i do recognize the cultural significance of destiny's child, especially in hind sight as the jumping off point for Beyoncé, but this whole thing just feels extremely cynical and barely even like an album.

in terms of content and themes, there's absolutely no cohesion or consistency here-- to jump from Bootylicious right into Nasty Girl is some crazy whiplash, and then when you sprinkle in all the god stuff it doesn't feel like an album at all but just a mish mash of songs scientifically designed to hit as many segments of the population as possible. there's no overarching ideas and you really don't get the impression this is intended to be listened to as an actual album at all, you're just supposed to pick out your favorites and ditch the rest.

again, not awful, but it gets a 1 for the cynicism of it and for barely even qualifying as an album

i want to go back in time and stop myself from ever learning about this website

feels a lot more like poetry read over music than a lot of rap, unfortunately I'm not the biggest fan of poetry. musically it gets pretty repetitive but there are some nice moments, and i do appreciate the well expressed political sentiments (which i am of course biased towards) but sonically there's just not that much to write home about

i simply can't fathom why such an annoying and utterly forgettable album was removed in later editions of the book!

by all rights, i should love this, but it just doesn't really do that much for me! hard to put my finger on it, but it's just missing some sort of oomph. feels kind of paint-by-numbersy, which is obviously an opinion i can only have with 50 years of hindsight of music no doubt influenced by it and having heard Apache sampled a million times, but i never claimed to have rational opinions. if somebody put it on i wouldn't complain but I'll probably never reach for it myself

i truly expected to absolutely hate this, and while I didn't, i did also go out of ny way to make sure i listened to the album as originally released (not the one disc version the spotify link here leads to) and good lord there is no album that can justify a 2 hour and 20 minute length, and certainly not when that album is entirely drum and bass. I'll toss it an extra star for not making me 100% bonkers which is an achievement, but if I'm grading this as an album listening experience than holy shit you will never ever catch me putting this on again